Aiken, South Carolina
Presbyterian Church (USA)
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INTRODUCTION
This booklet of wedding procedures and policies has been
prepared by the staff and the Wedding Consultant of the South Aiken Presbyterian
Church, and adopted by the Church Session as a guide to persons seeking to plan
for a Christian wedding and marriage. It is hoped that some of the right questions are raised here,
and helpful answers provided. However,
the booklet cannot serve as a substitute for the personal conferences with the
pastor, organist, and wedding consultant to whom it refers. THE PRESBYTERIAN BELIEF REGARDING MARRIAGEThe position and belief of the Presbyterian Church, (U.S.A.) regarding marriage, divorce and remarriage is found in the official statement of Presbyterian Doctrine, the Westminister Confession of Faith, chapter 26. As paragraph 3 points out, the promise of a Christian marriage is based upon common commitment to Christ by husband and wife and a common intent to make their marriage Christ-centered. Convinced of the truth of this, it is the policy of the pastor to marry only those persons who do profess their commitment to Christ. To pronounce the blessing of God upon a marriage in which there is no such intent is to take the name of the Lord in vain. The chapter referred to above is included in the appendix of this booklet. The Book of Order also gives guidance regarding the order of the wedding service:
SCHEDULING RELATED TO THE WEDDING
Non-members will not be allowed to schedule a wedding until ninety days before the date of the ceremony. There are three persons with whom conferences should be planned in preparing for a wedding: the Minister, the Church’s Wedding Coordinator, and the Organist. The bride should meet with the consultant at least twelve weeks prior to her desired wedding date to initiate plans for the wedding and to insure adequate time for preparations. An initial conference of the bride and groom with the pastor should also be arranged ten to twelve weeks prior to the wedding. No wedding invitations should be ordered until after a date is confirmed with the minister. The bride should confer with the organist ten to twelve weeks prior to the wedding to discuss the music and the date of the wedding. Ordinarily, the best time for the wedding rehearsal is between 6:00 pm and 8:00 pm the evening before the wedding. Approximately an hour and a half should be allowed between the beginning of the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner if one is to be held. If the rehearsal dinner is in the Fellowship Hall, one hour and fifteen minutes is adequate. The time of the wedding is at the discretion of the bride and the groom, and is usually set to accommodate them and their guests. It is suggested, however, that Sundays and holidays be avoided in setting the rehearsal and wedding dates. THE WEDDING REHEARSAL
The purpose of the wedding rehearsal is to prepare each member of the wedding party for the part that he or she will play in the wedding service. For this reason, all members of the wedding party should be present at the rehearsal to practice the role they will play. Inasmuch as the bride has a key role in the wedding service, she, too, should rehearse her part. The use of a stand-in-bride derives from superstition, and is discouraged. It is desirable for the mothers of the bride and groom to also be present for the rehearsal. The admonition to be on time for the rehearsal is in order. It is a matter of courtesy to all those participating, and insures that the rehearsal will be completed in time not to conflict with plans for the rehearsal dinner. It is suggested that the marriage license be given to the pastor at the rehearsal to allow adequate time for procuring the appropriate signatures. SERVICE OF PERSONS RELATED TO THE WEDDING
In light of the religious significance of the wedding service to the community of the Church, the pastor and the church organist are the appropriate persons to assist the bride and groom in planning the Wedding Service. THE PASTOR
The pastor is available to all families of the Church for
weddings. Non-members may also
arrange for his services. Three
conferences and possibly others, depending upon the circumstances between the
Pastor and the couple to be married will be REQUIRED. GUEST MINISTERIf a guest minister is invited to have a part in the
service, the minister at South Aiken should be consulted as to the plans and
preparations for the service. Participation
of a guest minister requires approval by the Session. CHURCH OFFICE SUPPORT
In the event of a formal Worship Service Wedding or one in
which Communion will be served, the bride may wish to use bulletins.
Inclusion of Communion in the wedding service requires approval by the
Session. There are catalogs in
the Church Office from which the bride may select and purchase special wedding
bulletins, or she may purchase regular Church Bulletins through the Church
Office. The bride and the groom are
required to consult with the minister on an Order of Worship.
An office support person is available to prepare the bulletins, if
desired. If so, all information and
bulletins should be in at least two weeks prior to the wedding date. ORGANIST
It is appropriate that the Church Organist, if
available, play for weddings in the Church.
If a guest organist is used, the Church Organist should be consulted as
to plans and preparations for the service.
A list of organists available in the Aiken area is available from the
coordinator. WEDDING COORDINATOR
The Church’s Wedding Coordinator is to be contacted to
arrange for all weddings at the Church other than private weddings involving
only the immediate families. It is
her responsibility to explain the Church policies regarding weddings and to
assist, as needed, in all arrangements pertaining to the Church’s facilities
and equipment, including notifying the sexton of the times when his services
will be needed. She is qualified to
serve as director of the wedding and reception, and it is encouraged that she be
used in this capacity. Her
familiarity with the Church’s Staff and facilities will especially equip her
for planning with the bride and groom for a meaningful wedding.
However, it is advised that the coordinator be present at the rehearsal
even if she is not used as director. SEXTON
The services of the Church’s Sexton shall be used in connection with all weddings (see section on policies of the use of the Church). The services which he/she will provide include complete oversight of the building and facilities, including opening and locking the building for the rehearsal and wedding, advance preparation and cleaning of the Church and equipment, providing for heat or air-conditioning as necessary, and clean-up of the facilities afterward. Since this involves duties beyond the ordinary on his part, a standard fee is charged (see section on fees). His/Her duties do not include providing or cleaning silver or dishes used in a rehearsal dinner or reception. WEDDING DIRECTOR
A Director of the wedding has the responsibility of assisting the bride and groom in their planning and assuring that the details of the wedding service are conducted in a satisfactory manner. For this reason, it is best to use a director who is qualified rather than an inexperienced friend or member of the family. As noted above, the Church’s Wedding Consultant is qualified for this responsibility. If the bride chooses to use someone other than the consultant, the director should confer with the minister prior to the rehearsal date. It is expected that the director will have reached a conclusion with the bride prior to the rehearsal on the arrangement of persons in the wedding party at the Chancel. DIRECTOR OF RECEPTION
If a reception is to be held in the Fellowship Hall or the
Gymnasium, the Director of the Reception shall confer with the Wedding
Coordinator to arrange times for decorating and cleaning, and securing needed
items of Church equipment for the reception. FLORIST
It is the responsibility of the bride to inform the florist of the decorating policies of the Church. If any damage occurs to the Church facilities through the florist’s services, the bride is held accountable. PHOTOGRAPHER
A professional photographer with experience in working with
weddings is recommended for the greatest efficiency at the wedding and quality
of pictures. It is the
responsibility of the bride to inform the photographer as well as family members
and guests that no pictures are to be taken in the Sanctuary during the wedding
from the time the pastor enters until he leaves the Chancel, except during
the processional and recessional. Time
will be made available at the conclusion of the ceremony to re-enact various
parts of the wedding for the purpose of taking photographs.
Videotaping should be coordinated with the minister. *The bride and groom should also make every effort to see
that their guests understand this policy, the wedding ceremony is a solemn event
and the taking of photographs during the ceremony tends to detract from that. SOLOIST
It is the responsibility of the Soloist to arrange for
rehearsal time with the Organist. A
list of soloists available in the Aiken area is available from the coordinator. MUSIC
Music can and should be an important part of a meaningful
wedding ceremony. The Book Of
Order reminds us “marriage is a divine institution established by God”.
Therefore, such music as accompanies the service should be to the Glory
of God who sanctifies marriage, so the use of hymns by the congregation is
appropriate. This applies to
processional and recessional music as well.
There are many compositions from which to choose the wedding marches
other than just the traditional ones. The
conference with the Organist is for the purpose of assisting the bride in
planning the music for the service. The
same criteria used for selecting music for any worship service will be used for
weddings. If a guest organist is used, a list of all music to be played
before, during, and following the wedding ceremony needs to be given to the
wedding coordinator two months before the wedding for approval by the church. POLICIES ON THE USE OF THE CHURCHReservation for use of the Church’s facilities and
equipment may be made through the Church Office Monday – Friday from 9:00 am
to 5:00 pm. Appointments may be
made with the coordinator for examining the facilities and equipment, if
desired. The Church Sanctuary seats 330 persons, the Fellowship Hall
will accommodate up to 200 persons, and the Gymnasium accommodates 440 persons.
The church library and a ladies’ lounge is available prior to the
wedding for the Bride and her attendants, the Pastor’s Study for the Groom and
Best Man. It is expected that normal care will be exercised in the
use of the Church and its equipment. Specifically,
no tacks, pins, nails, glue or tape may be used to fasten any decorations to the
furniture or building. The
furniture and carpet must be fully protected at all times from moisture and
candle wax. Clear plastic is to be
used under all candles. No flowers
or candles are to be placed on the Communion Table, nor is the Table to be
moved. No rice or birdseed may be
carried into or thrown in the Sanctuary or Fellowship Hall.
Any damage that should occur is the responsibility of the Bride.
An aisle runner is required if flower petals are to be sprinkled or
dropped by a member of the wedding party (i.e. the flower girl) during the
course of the processional, recessional or any other part of the ceremony.
These are usually available from your florist. Alcoholic beverages may not be served in any form either at
the rehearsal or the reception on Church premises. In planning decorations for the wedding, it is to be
recommended that the Sanctuary be designed for all Church services.
Weddings are Church services. The
decorations provided should be in keeping with the simplicity of the Sanctuary,
and enhance the appearance of the Church as a Church.
Therefore, it is recommended that only one floral arrangement, not more
than two candelabras, palms or other greenery and kneeling bench, be used, if
desired. If the Bride so desires,
the Church appreciates the leaving of the floral arrangement for the Church
service the following Sunday. USE OF CHURCH EQUIPMENT
The Church has the following items available that may be
used in connection with weddings upon request (8’) long tables, round
tables, full length mirror, folding chairs, 2 area carpets, room dividers,
piano (Fellowship Hall), kitchen utensils and facilities, umbrellas (2) and a
candle lighter. The availability of
this equipment is not guaranteed, however, and should be verified with the
Wedding Coordinator no less than two weeks prior to the wedding. Typical items of equipment that are not provided by the Church include china,
crystal, silver services, wedding cake table, tablecloths, kneeling bench,
candelabra, etc. Use of other
equipment and supplies of the Church other than that listed above shall be
arranged through the Wedding Coordinator. Wedding Fees
*ALL FEES ARE DUE NO LATER THAN ONE MONTH PRIOR TO WEDDING SERVICE WEDDING INFORMATION SHEETPlease complete and return to the Wedding Coordinator or to the Church Office Bride __________________________________________________________________ Groom _________________________________________________________________ Presenting Bride _________________________________________________________ Maid/Matron of Honor _____________________________________________________ Bridesmaids _____________________________________________________________ Best Man _______________________________________________________________ Groomsmen _____________________________________________________________ Others participating in ceremony ____________________________________________ Director of Wedding (if Church Wedding Coordinator is to be used as the Wedding Director, please indicate) __________________________________________________ Organist ________________________________________________________________ Soloist _________________________________________________________________ Photographer ____________________________________________________________ Anticipated Number of Wedding Guests ______________________________________ Are you planning to use one of our facilities for the reception? Yes _____ No _______ If “Yes”, which facility do you plan on using, what is your anticipated number of guests? Family Life Center (new building) _______ Fellowship Hall (old building)___________ Director of Reception (if SAPC facilities are to be used)___________________________ To whom should questions regarding the organization of the wedding be addressed? Name ____________________________________________________________ Telephone Number _______________ Best time to call ___________________ Future address of Bride and Groom __________________________________________ CONTACTS(By calling the church office at (803) 648-9574 you may be put into contact with the following people) Rev. John
Frye, Jr., Pastor
Brooke
Ridgeway, Organist
Wedding Coordinator
& Director
Tracie
Bryant, Office Support
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